im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
