You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
