They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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