We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize