so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
