why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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