Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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