Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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