perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize