you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
