Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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