the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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