Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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