I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
