I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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