What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
