the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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