Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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