It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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