i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
