Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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