She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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