There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
