We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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