the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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