i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
