There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
