when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh god it's open bar.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
