Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
