goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
