there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
