yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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