paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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