After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
