i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We had sex on a dog bed..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
