I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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