butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
MIDGETS
????
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
