Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
