brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
