I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I will be naked everywhere
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
