My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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