should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize