he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
