Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
