I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
