Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
