i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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