He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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