What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
