If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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