I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize