whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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