i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
