Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
