ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
