found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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