Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
