Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
