I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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