dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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