Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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