you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
