i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
