I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
