It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize