I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
